Some Rules and Facts

Start Some Rules and Facts
  • These shoes were made for walkin’... ...or staggering, or stumbling, but never for drivin’.


  • You want a pair of Drinking Shoes. Period.


  • Charlie owns them as well.


  • There are two things every man needs; bacon and Drinking Shoes.


  • The only thing better than owning a pair of Drinking Shoes? Owning 2 pairs of Drinking Shoes. Don’t deny yourself. Resistance is futile.


  • Technology is useless and twisted. Drinking Shoes aren’t. Boom!


  • Caution: These shoes are extremely hazardous to your social health. Owning and wearing a pair will severely increase getting together with friends as well as making new ones.


  • Our shoes are designed and manufactured in actual reality and are 100% virtual reality free. Social interaction while wearing our shoes is also intended to occur in the real world. Bottoms up!


  • These are scientifically designed and tested social sports shoes, because getting together with our friends is our sport.


  • Because your mother said so, now put on your drinking shoes and go out and have a good time.


  • Chhhhhh, hhhhha, Chhhhh, hhhhhha. Luke…  ...THESE, are your Drinking Shoes.


  • After using the force to choke you, Vader says, “I find your lack of Drinking Shoes, disturbing.”


  • Happy hours get much happier with your Drinking Shoes on.


     

  • Fact: Wearing Drinking Shoes while attempting to dance takes the attention away from your inability to dance, at least in your mind..


     

  • Drinking Shoes are better than sex toys. Wearing Drinking Shoes transforms you into sex toy. Go get’em, you sexy thing!


  • Fact: While you’re reading this, at least one of the two co-owners, if not both, are probably partaking in festive libations.


  • We didn’t start this company to make everyone like us. You shouldn’t try to make everyone like you  either. Wearing Drinking shoes will definitely help though.


  • Politically incorrect since 2015, well, way before that but now you know about it as well.


  • Bitchin’ Camaro.


  • Wearing Drinking Shoes breaks down language barriers. Slurring your words is universal.


  • We are truly a global company. Based on our locations, we cover 20 hours in any given day of what are acceptable hours for drinking according to current social norms.


  • Fact: A chick’s hotness factor increases exponentially while wearing Drinking Shoes. Sub-fact: A chick’s hotness factor also increases exponentially for the guy who is wearing his Drinking Shoes.


  • The Drinking Shoes tally marks, or hash marks are a unary numeral system. They date back 25,000 to 35,000 years ago and are the simplest numeral system to represent natural numbers for your drunk ass. If you get to 5, you’ve had enough.


  • Getting to the horizontal tally mark will make it much more likely that you’ll be doing the horizontal happy dance. Good luck!


  • Our shoes are what would be referred to as “kool kicks.”


  • When drinking whiskey and cokes, it is perfectly acceptable to run out of coke. It is totally unacceptable to run out of whiskey.


  • If you run out of coke but not whiskey, you should continue to wear your Drinking Shoes.


  • Breaking up with your gf/bf..? Get a pair of Drinking Shoes! You'll need them. 

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